“All I want to do is give love”
“Most people don’t know what love really is”
So I ask you today, “What is love?”
I remember the first time someone asked me that. Ten-year-old me proudly and quickly responded, “A strong feeling of affection for someone else”. I loved the dictionary and had memorized this definition so I was eager to get praised!
The person said, “That’s not love”. I believe that person even laughed at me. I didn’t like this person my mom was friends with up until that point, and I really didn’t like them in that moment. The person continued with something like, “You can’t know what love is from a book”.
Those words echoed through my life's journey that led me to question and explore the profound concept of love. My superficial understanding would soon be challenged, leaving me bewildered and lost. From childhood innocence to teenage infatuation, my understanding of love has evolved through conflict, confusion, and revelation.
Unraveling the Mystery of Love
That one fateful encounter with a dismissive adult shattered my simplistic definition of love. I felt defeated, my pride wounded. The realization that I didn't truly understand love haunted me. Now what?! How do I go on telling my mom or anyone else that I “love” them, when I didn’t know what is was? From childhood innocence to teenage infatuation, my understanding of love has evolved through conflict, confusion, and revelation.
A Revelation at Church
It wasn't until a decade later, at a church gathering, that the pieces of the love puzzle started to fall into place. A church youth leader simply stated (in reference to my high school boyfriend), "That boy loves you." I never once questioned what she meant by that. Instead, I clung to those words as if they were my lifeline. Little did I know that life had more lessons in store.
A Divine Intervention
Soon after, the birth of my first son opened my heart to a love I had never experienced before. Holding him in my arms, I understood that love was not solely about giving but about being present and connected. This revelation led me to make a profound decision about my education, choosing to prioritize bonding with my son during his first month of life.
My life’s purpose immediately transformed into being the best mom ever to my son. And that meant leading him by example through giving, showing, and sharing love in all the best ways possible with him- so he could learn how to do that for others.
The birth of my first son unveiled a love I had never experienced. Holding him, I realized that true love was not just about giving, but about being.
Since I was saved by then and into church, I knew the next right thing to do was to marry my son's biological father. In my pursuit of love, I made the decision to do so- even against my parents' disapproval. I had started the journey to build a family of my own, and I was determined to make it work. But I would've never imagined that the road ahead would be filled with so many challenges and unexpected twists like various forms of abuse, narcissism, and toxicity.
Finding the Answer
Life's lessons taught me that love is nothing like the lies I was telling myself. I had rationalized so much about my then-husband’s “love” for me that I believed it as true. As I journeyed through marriage and motherhood, I encountered doubt, trauma, and distorted perceptions of love. I realized that my understanding of love was flawed, leading to an internal conflict between giving and receiving love.
Thankfully, the Lord didn’t give up on me. He continued to send many divinely appointed angels to me. They all contributed to me learning and believing there was a way out. I had mistaken toxic relationships and misguided perceptions for love, a realization that eventually led to my divorce. Before you judge or celebrate- know that even though I was delivered, I wasn’t all the way free.
After surviving abuse and trauma- it was in peer support group and therapy that I began to untangle these misconceptions. I learned love is about receiving, understanding, and connecting on a deeper level. In my quest to understand love, I discovered that God's Love Letter, the Bible, held the answers I had been seeking.
It is Written in a Book
And wouldn’t you know it- the answer is in a book!
Listen, it took my newly-found intimacy with Jesus to overcome some things from the pits of Hell, including rape, to bring deliverance! You see- I knew God, but I didn’t know God. And the more I came to know Him, the more I came to know His love for me. Then, I came to know myself. The deeper we connected, the better I understood what I was always trying to do apart from Him- that which can only be done with and through Him. That, which one day my 20-something-year-old self exhaled and told a friend:
“All I want to do is give love”.
After which that friend responded, “Most people don’t know what love really is.”
So I ask you now, “What is love? In real life?”
Because it matters in how you LEAD your family.
As my faith increased and my intimacy with Jesus deepened, I began to understand His unconditional love. It was through this spiritual journey that I discovered the true source of love and the profound transformation it could bring. I realized that love goes beyond words and actions; it's an unwavering commitment and connection.
Our Leader & Lover Guides included in The King and Queen Intimacy Experience™ feature my Thought Leadership "The Harris Compass™: LEAD with LOVE, guidance so you can discover pathways to deepen intimacy with your spouse. Our Leader & Lover Guides are created from my personal experience as a survivor of sexual assault and abuse who overcame intimacy barriers with my husband, and successfully helped more than 180 moms in the last 11 years to become better moms and wives while they were also healing from sexual assault or abuse.
The Power of God's Love Letter
The sacred text of the Bible reveals the profound and enduring love of God, a love that transcends human comprehension. So what more have I really discovered about love other than I had it all wrong?! The answer is the reason I wrote this Treasured Letter™...
There’s a reason why most people don’t know what love really is. And it’s not just because they use it loosely for many different things. Like me, they watched as the words didn’t match the actions. They witnessed countless moments, scenes, and people claiming to “love”. Some even professing, “I love love.” These warped perceptions of love are what made it so elusive for me. Instead of honoring what the Creator of love who is Himself the embodiment of true love; we decide what feels good to us and label that as love. Some of us even decided pain is love, too.
So now, as we raise up children, leaders, and churches- we pervert love. Yes, pervert. We alter (love) from its original course, meaning, and state to a distortion or corruption of what was first intended. Let this Treasured Letter be a resource of hope bringing the good news!
Through this journey, I discovered that God's Word holds the answers to what love truly is. Despite distorted perceptions, His Love Letter, the Bible, provides guidance and truth. God's love transcends human comprehension and is beautifully chronicled in the Bible. As I came to know God's love, I unraveled my own misconceptions and found healing. This Treasured Letter invites you to explore the genuine love that God offers and how it can be a beacon of hope in your life.
God wrote you a Love Letter! He has so much love to give that His Love Letter is still the best-selling book of all time! In this book (regardless of translation), you will find what you’re looking for. You’ll then realize it’s inside of you, too.
Ready to unlock the depths of love's true meaning and experience profound intimacy? Join me on a journey of healing and transformation with "The King and Queen Intimacy Experience™." Let's explore the treasures within God's Love Letter and discover the genuine connection and fulfillment you've been searching for. Your path to lasting love begins today.
Benefits of "The King and Queen Intimacy Experience™
For Husband & Wife
-Your love will reconnect you to pleasure with one another, eliminating seeking outside sources for intimacy, stimulation, and satisfaction. "Love" through our Intimacy Gifts refers to God's love, romantic love, and friendship love.
-This will also show your children what healing and restoration looks like in a marriage.
-We include your children in platonic intimacy to help them develop strong emotional connections, trust, and support with others. This type of intimacy focuses on building meaningful friendships and familial connections based on care and understanding, without involving anything romantic or sexual.
For Wife-
She will reclaim and embrace her sensual and sexual power, conquering the complex prison that is limiting her from experiencing pleasure and desires after sexual assault or abuse.
I am Certified in Trauma/survivor-Informed Care with a long track record of advocacy and activism for survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence over the last 11 years. Part of my service work is empowering survivors with Jesus so they can take back their power in healthy meaningful ways.
Join me on a journey of healing and transformation with "The King and Queen Intimacy Experience™."